The Shock Stage

Before I begin, I just want to give a shout out to my family. They are awesome, and I love them more than anything. I specifically want to say congrats to my little brother, Trevor! He is doing super well in Academic Decathlon at Mountain View High School, and he is still composing, recording, and playing music with his awesome band (www.myspace.com/resetyourmind). I have posted a picture of him and his girlfriend Taylor (who is also doing awesome in Academic Decathlon) because I think they are super handsome, and I am so proud of both of them.

Warning: I am about to be very honest with you in the rest of this post, so bear with me. J

It has been a while since I last wrote, and a lot has happened since then. I haven’t really gone on any new trips or done anything too exciting in the past month (except going snowboarding in the ANDES MOUNTAINS, of which I posted a couple pictures), but I have had sufficient time to ponder life in Chile.  Basically, in the last month, the shock stage of being abroad hit. After two months living in Chile, traveling every weekend, spending lots of money, and not really having any obligations, I realized that the life I am living here is entirely different than any life I have ever lived at home (or in Mexico, where I was right before this trip). For some reason, when I arrived in Chile, I thought that I would like a break from what I really am passionate about (namely, working with kids and nonprofits), so that I could take a break and do something for myself (namely, traveling and partying in a foreign country). But two months into it, I realized that living without volunteering just doesn’t make me happy, and that when I don’t spend my energy furthering causes I am passionate about, I have a very hard time getting motivated about everything else going on in my life.

When I realized this, I had a really hard time dealing with being abroad. I became upset with Chile and with what seemed like a lack of accomplishments on my part. I stopped traveling on the weekends. I was homesick for things that I was used to (family, friends, volunteer work, ASU…and the list goes on). And I fell behind in my classes. Through all of this, I felt very insignificant.

But after a couple weeks of this behavior (and with the advice of a few very rational friends), I realized I needed to find a way to be happy again. So I pursued volunteer opportunities. I reminded myself of the real reason I came to Chile (to learn Spanish). And I realized how lucky I am to have this opportunity in the first place and that I should appreciate the life that I do have here. After all of this, I finally became “Chilean Ammy” again, and I even went climbing last weekend to prove it J.

This realization is the most important thing I have learned this entire trip, and it will guide me forward for the rest of the trip, and more importantly, for the rest of my life. I now know what my heart desires—to work with people and for people to make their lives better. And even if I am not doing any significant amount of this while I am here, I realize that in learning Spanish and in experiencing another country and culture, I am still working toward my goal of helping people in the future as I am learning skills that are necessary to help to bring about change in the lives of others.

So there is my blog for the month. It was a whirlwind month for me, and I learned more about myself than I ever have before in my life. I guess that is why people study abroad. J

Send me updates on your lives. I would love to hear from you!

Hugs from Chile,

Ammy